Gimme Money

I need it, anyone have any they can spare?

I know I shouldn't do this, but I keep thinking about all the times I spent money on stupid shit or that time I was making 60k/yr and I spent it on clothes. Oh and $100+ dinners every weekend.

Now I'm wondering what type of Ramen I should eat. Chicken or Miso flavor. It's a toss up.

I can honestly say, the last time I was this broke was when I was in high school. :P

((phh.. yeah.. last year.. I was in HS last year... that's my story and I'm sticking to it.))

Even though I'm having money issues, there are things that I'm grateful for. Like, my animals. Even though their food cost more than mine. And my boyfriend....even though he should be a CFO or CEO or COO of his company right now. (LOVE YOU BABE)

I have a roof over my head and I have a job. Those are good things.

It would be nice to have money so that I can spread the love to my sister and mom. :S I need to finish the two novels I'm writing and get back to making digital art. Find something that will get me gah-zillion unique visitors to my websites.

I refuse to post naked pictures. One, Dillon would be mad. And two, you'd probably throw up in your mouth. :P

I'll just cyber beg. Why? Because it's -11 degrees outside and I'm not standing on the street to beg. :P

oy. broke. ass. bitch.

seriously though, it's times like this when i really miss my 60k/yr job. SIGH. fml..but i have hope that things will work out.. school will work out... and if it doesn't, i'll just win the 400 million power ball.

HAHA. wishful thinking.

the only good thing going on in my life is that my hair is looking pretty great lately. i'm hoping this stress i'm under doesn't make it fall out!!

dillon is lucky that i love him oh so much, cuz i'm coming to the point where a sugar daddy is looking good. OH hay... maybe i can get him to get a sugar momma to take care of us! oy, too extreme? yeah.. it's the desperation talkin'.

/wrist

oh goddess of money, hear my prayer. i needs monies now. .____.

I want to be...EVERYTHING

I know I’m not the first person to wonder what they are going to do when they grow up. I might be a little old to still be thinking that way, but I always think of myself as a forever child. I think it’s because of the trauma I went through growing up; I feel like I lost my childhood. I go through periods of knowing what I want to do with my life…I want to be a nurse! I want to be a cartoonist! I want to be a stay at home mom (4-legged kids)! I want, I want, I want, I want!!!

And then there are the periods where I just want to do nothing. I just want to crawl into bed and shut my eyes and sleep until forever.

Or at least until one of the things I want to do magically appears.

 I go to sleep one night and BAM!! I’m a nurse. No studying, no exams, no waiting 2 years…

Or I go to sleep one night and BAM!!! Lil Z-bot and friends is a popular animated series, comic book…t-shirts, mugs, plushes, and figurines. Pixar taps us to make a full featured film. 21-Century Fox wants to make a live action movie. Disney wants to make a Z-botLAND inside Disneyland. Khols wants to make a line of children clothes with the Lil Z-bot characters.

Sigh. Yeah, after writing this blog post, I’m still no closer to knowing what I want to do. The search continues.

quarter life crisis

Okay, so, if I'm being honest here, I'm not 25, so this isn't really a quarter life crisis. But I am no where near mid-life, so I'm call this a maybe near 30ish crisis. Plus or minus, I will not say. (YES, me es loco when I don't get any sleep.......)

ANYWAY...I'm sitting here, at 12:30am.. STILL writing a paper I might add and feeling a little panicky. Why? Well, one, I have to write 4 papers a week and upload them by Sunday evening and I only have one paper done for this week (EEEEEK)...and two.. well.. I'm just feeling slightly depressed that I'm not already grown up and doing grown up things. You know what I mean?

Probably not, because this post is completely random and I can't get my thoughts straight...

What I'm trying to say is that, by now, at this point in my life I should have a successful career in X (insert all 20 of the things I wanted to grow up to be....), married, traveling the world, wearing size 0, eating whatever the fuck I want (fuck you sugar!), planning babies... SIGH SIGH SIGH...

But here I am. Writing paper 2 of 4 the DAY they are due...and freaking out.

I know... hash tag this #firstworldproblems. It's my blog, I'll vent if I want to.

...don't worry Dillon, I will not be getting a Latina mistress who is waaay too young for me, use my daughter's credit cards to spend money on her, or neglect my wife and family at home. Oopsie-poo.. daddy R, if you are reading this, you know what I'm talking about.

I digress...

I don't know..I just want to find some meaning to life, love, and whatever. I want to finish writing my book...I want to paint...I wanna be a millionaire..so freakin' bad...

Alright, I'm getting even more loopy as this post goes on. I will spare you.

Good night to whoever reads this.

....